Submitted by SecretLemur on May 5, 2008 - 1:01pm.
| Attention Kept: One measly hour |
Will I play it again: Between now and when I sell it back tomorrow? Seems unlikely. |
I initially ragged on Lair complaining of its awful control scheme. When given the choice to watch Mansquito, an awful Sci-Fi channel movie and playing Lair, I initially opted for the more entertaining option of a movie about a giant bug-man.
Interestingly, after much complaining from, well, everyone, Lair's developers have finally seen fit to allow us the choice of not using the motion sensitivity option on the PS3. As it turns out, the control scheme isn't the problem. The problem is that the game just sucks. Read on for my updated take on this game...
Submitted by SecretLemur on March 6, 2008 - 3:18pm.
| Attention Kept: Just under nine hours |
Will I play it again: I doubt it. |
I really wanted to like Sins of a Solar Empire. I think
Stardock is a great company with exactly the right stance on copy
protection (it's harmful to everyone). And I think Ironclad Games is
doing a fantastic job of listening to their customers. The very same
day that I posted a review complaining about the lack of speed control
options in Sins, a helpful reader pointed out the fact that a recent
patch corrects that oversight.
So, with handy dandy speed controls in hand, I gave Sins of a Solar Empire another go. Objectively, I can say that Sins of a Solar Empire is a very well designed real time strategy game. Subjectively, it bores me to tears. But this is obviously a matter of taste.
Submitted by SecretLemur on February 21, 2008 - 3:47pm.
| Attention Kept: About 45 minutes |
Will I play it again: When someone makes a game with it, sure. |
Crysis finds itself among that rare breed of games that
differentiate themselves by having ludicrous system requirements, but
fail to bring anything actually interesting to the table. I downloaded
the demo for two reasons. My primary reason for downloading it was to
see if by brand spanking new Alienware machine could play it. It can. Thankyouverymuch, Alienware.
The second reason was to see if I cared enough about the game to actually buy it. I don't.
Submitted by SecretLemur on January 29, 2008 - 3:28pm.
| Attention Kept: A little over two hours |
Will I play it again: Probably. I'm a masochist and I'll forget how hard it is. |
Trauma Center: Under the Knife is a strange little DS
game where you play the role of surgeon in a soap opera. As a surgeon,
you have to excise tumors, remove shards of glass and dose your
patients with a bunch of green goo using the stylus as your surgical
instrument. As a cast member in a soap opera, you must strike striking
poses and read a bunch of melodramatic dialog.
When the game is going well, which is to say, when I'm not killing the
patient, I love it. It's great. But when the game gets hard, which is
to say, when I'm killing the patient, I hate it. When Trauma Center
is hard, it's brutally hard: just like in real surgery, a single
screwup can kill the poor sod on the table. And having to skim through
all of the pre-surgery conversation over and over again so that I can
just kill the patient again is pretty frustrating.
So, as much as I love the game play and the idea of Trauma Center: Under the Knife, my heart just can't take the stress. And that's pretty much all I have to say about it.
Submitted by SecretLemur on December 11, 2007 - 4:53pm.
| Attention Kept: 4 hours? 5? Seemed like forever. |
Will I play it again: Not unless our alien overlords demand it. |
Blacksite: Area 51 is a squad based FPS in which you
(eventually) get to shoot it out with aliens in, as you might expect,
Nevada. With one of Blacksite's core production team members saying
that " ...the game was disastrously off rails." it's no real surprise that while Blacksite does have some fun moments, it's no COD4.
In fact, once the initial newness wears off and you start getting into
some of the more poorly designed missions, not to mention outright
bugs, the game really takes a turn from kind of fun to super annoying. It's
almost as if the further into the game you get, the less
attention it's received by the developers. As it happens, that's just
how I felt: the further in I got, the less I wanted to pay attention to
it.
Submitted by SecretLemur on November 29, 2007 - 3:43pm.
| Attention Kept: 30 pain filled minutes |
Will I play it again: Can't. Took it back. |
I played the first Soldier of Fortune game on my PC way back
when. I didn't buy it, mind you. It came free with my Razer gaming
mouse. It was fun and was notable for being one of the first games to
have localized damage. So, with all that in mind, I was looking forward
to some over the top terrorist killing fun when I picked up Soldier of Fortune: Payback.
Wow. What a disappointment. The only thing, and I do mean only,
that this game has going for it is some nice graphics. They're not
remarkable in any way, they're just nice. You know, they basically live
up to current generation console game graphics expectations. In all
other respects, Soldier of Fortune: Payback is one of the worst FPS games I've played in recent memory.
Submitted by SecretLemur on November 28, 2007 - 4:42pm.
| Attention Kept: 6 minutes |
Will I play it again: No need. |
Asteroids and Asteroids Deluxe is one of the many classic
games available for download via Xbox Live Arcade (XBLA). Following in
the footsteps of games such as Time Pilot and JetPac Refueled,
it has both a classic mode and an "evolved" mode. Classic mode is the
Asteroids you remember. Evolved mode is the same game with modernized
graphics and sound, but otherwise identical gameplay.
In 1979, Asteroids was new, exciting and fun to play. But you have to remember, the competition back then was Pong.
As much as I loved Asteroids as a kid, the game just hasn't aged well.
The controls are clunky and the gameplay, well, it lacks the kind of
depth we've all grown to expect in arcade style shooters.
Submitted by SecretLemur on November 8, 2007 - 7:56pm.
| Attention Kept: A single sleepy hour |
Will I play it again: I don't think I "played" it this time. |
Based on reviews and the popularity of previous Phoenix Wright games, I
expected to be in for a unique courtroom-drama inspired treat when I
picked up Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations. But then I remembered that " kozakanani"
(a mixture of dried and seasoned sardines, flatfish and shrimp) is also
considered a snacky-treat in Japan. So, while my expectations were
lowered, I wasn't expecting outright crap.
Even if snacky-treats are lost in translation, a game on its third
installment must have some value, right? Right? Well, you would think,
but then they did just release the sequel to Manhunt, so there's
clearly a hole in my logic. Maybe it's the fact that idiots keep buying
crap games and saying "please sir, may I have another" after
discovering that they suck. Stop it.
At least I have an excuse.
Submitted by SecretLemur on November 5, 2007 - 7:33pm.
| Attention Kept: 3 hours or so |
Will I play it again: Well, maybe not everyday |
Available exclusively as a download from the Playstation Store ($9.99), Everyday Shooter
is one of a growing crop of retro-styled Robotron inspired games. Left
stick move. Right stick shoot. Since that part of the equation is
already settled, it's what you're shooting at that matters. And Everyday Shooter manages to make shooting at things worth doing, even if it is freakishly hard.
It is one of the few reasons I bother to turn on my PS3 and is, in fact, the best PS3 exclusive game currently available.
Submitted by SecretLemur on October 22, 2007 - 4:20pm.
| Attention Kept: Somewhere between 2 and 3 hours, I think |
Will I play it again: Maybe |
Folklore is a fantasy RPG which takes place in approximately
modern times. I know that it's "modern" because there are telephones
and magazines. I know that it is fantasy because there are fairies. The
things which differentiates this game is the manner of combat: in the
netherworld you capture the "ids" of bad fairies. These "ids" then do
battle for you.
Thing is, as nice looking and interesting as it is, it's also horribly
frustrating which makes it a pretty hard game to recommend. This is
turning out to be a pretty common theme on the PS3. Sony needs to get its
act together.
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